This post may seem too personal for my public blog, but I feel the need to share it with "the world". You know how those matters of The Spirit are. When the Lord directs, you follow. I hope you enjoy my thoughts.
So I was reading in Matthew last night and came across a thought. Trusting in the Lord is more a matter of accepting and acting on His will than saying a prayer and expecting to receive exactly what you want, exactly when you want it. If it was the later rather than the former, I'm fairly certain that would be absolutely pointless in the grand design of The Plan. Trusting in the Lord is trusting that His will is what will be best for you and what will make you the happiest. I've been pondering on this subject all day. When the thought first crossed my mind I realized that sitting here and wishing my prayer for a husband to be answered this week, month, year, decade, etc. doesn't do me an ounce of good. Yes I am trying to put myself out there. It has been a little difficult lately because I've been sick with Pneumonia again. But I am trying. That's all I can do. I can't force my Prince Charming to come out of hiding simply by praying a selfish prayer. So what do I pray for instead? Do I pray for patience or do I pray for the strength to endure my time of loneliness? I would choose to pray for the strength to endure. In the mean time I should remember that to endure isn't simply to wait. It involves living life well and to the fullest that you can at any particular moment. I can't live in the past, and I can't live in the future. I can only live in the right now. I need to focus my thoughts and attention on Christ. I need to focus on my relationship with him. I need to remember him. By praying for strength to endure and developing my relationship with Him I am using His Atonement. So, I will address myself when I say, "Step away from the Universal Remote Control". The only one that has the full ability to use that remote is my Heavenly Father and my Savior. The buttons don't work when I try to push them by myself. They only work when I hand the remote over to God. He is the man of my house for now. He will flip the channel to what I most need in order to become who He knows I can be. I will be infinitely happier when I do that. I can give up the control.
2 comments:
I felt like I needed to comment.
I have a really hard time with this concept because I like to be in control, and when it comes to life - I am not in complete control. When I was going through my biggest trial - I prayed for strength to endure. (I think I was scared to pray for patience because I still don't have much of it and I was worried that my trial would last forever because I wouldn't ever truly be patient.)
I think you are correct in the fact that you need to live your life! Just because things aren't going the way you want them to, it doesn't mean your life needs to stop. You need to do all you can that you have control over and leave the rest up to Heavenly Father.
I just wanted to remind you that you have many people (including me) that love you and will support you through all your trials (whatever they may be). Don't give up hope. Keep trusting in the Lord. He has a plan for you, and loves you.
I learned that exact thing when I was pregnant with my last. It's not a matter of praying and expecting Heavenly Father to answer the prayer the way you want. It IS learning to understand, deal and COMMIT to the path that Heavenly Father has given you. We do not understand why he wants us to go through certain trials, most of the time we can learn why afterwards or at least understand a little better but sometimes we never do. We just have to have the faith that HE knows what He is doing and that He knows we can do ANYTHING that He puts in our life. If we couldn't we wouldn't be going through it. Nephi's faith a courage have personally given me SO much strength! We are much much much stronger then we ever thought possible and we can be even stronger when we turn to Christ. He knows EXACTLY what we are going through because He has suffered and gone through the SAME thing. We need to learn to take what the Lord has given us and try to live it, use it, understand it to the fullest possible. Only then will he see fit to bless us with the eyes of understanding, patience and acceptance of our trial.
We have all had different challenges that have pushed us to our limits. You are not a lone though it may feel like it more then you would like. I Love you Erin! Keep fighting through and learning so much. I am SOOO impressed with the personal and spiritual growth that you have made since high school. You amaze me and I LOVE you so much!!
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